15 things a vegan would never say

1 09 2012

For many vegans a cruelty free lifestyle goes beyond the dinner plate. From leather-free belts to animal friendly idioms, vegans can put a lot of thought and care into what they buy, eat, and even what they say!

Here are a few phrases, some all too common, that a vegan isn’t likely to be repeating:

  1.  “Running around like a chicken with its head cut off!”
  2. “What if you were stranded on a deserted island and you could only eat your dog…”-  Hmm, maybe the next time I get a ‘what if’ question I should say this one!
  3. “Going on a wild goose chase”- Rainbows are better to chase.
  4. “Where do you get YOUR protein?”- I am always happy when an omnivore is concerned about my protein intake, but chances are I won’t be asking them about theirs.
  5. “Kill two birds with one stone”
  6. “You’re dead meat!”
  7. “I could never give up [insert something you feel is morally questionable] I like it too much.”
  8. “Bringing home the bacon”
  9. “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”- Birds in a bush are much better than any birds in my hand.
  10. “Cut the cheese” – Even if it’s soy or almond based cheese, vegans do that enough, we don’t need to bring more attention to it.
  11. “Going to milk it for all its worth!”
  12. “If God didn’t want us to eat plants, why did he make them taste so good?”- We also won’t be saying “If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat.”
  13. “If we stopped eating vegetables, the world would be overrun by turnips!”- Just like if everyone stopped eating meat we would be over run with cows and other farm animals- Sure it will!
  14.  “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” or “Beating a dead horse”
  15.  “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”- I find it entertaining to give people a long awkward stare and pretend I don’t understand what they mean when they say this one.

    Originally written for thisdishisveg.com.

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